Why I’m Saying No To Feeling Guilty

guilty

guilty

guilty

guilty

Hey, how you doing? Sorry it’s been a while. I’ve been in hiding. And when I say ‘in hiding’ really I mean just absent from social media and a world away from blogging.

Truth is, it’s been a crazy few weeks for me. And all the craziness has left me feeling overwhelmed and extremely unfocused. 

When I’m not donning my ‘wedmin’ (wedding admin) hat; trying to organise a guest list and stressing over dates I’ve been doing the bare minimum when it comes to self-care. As I type this up my nails are chewed & chipped, my hair is drier than Gandi’s flip flop and oh my days my legs are extremely ashy. I feel like someone who doesn’t have their shit together. And that my friends is the one thing that will always make me feel guilt.

I’m someone who always wants to appear like I have my shit together. I’m the friend who’s always there to listen, assess and solve any problem. So, why can’t I seem to do that for myself?

Kimono – Zara (similar Missguided here)

White tee – And Other Stories 

Jeans – Levi’s 

Shoes – Topshop

Sunglasses – ASOS 

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guilty

guilty

You see apart from attending pre-planned obligations that I couldn’t get out of I’ve been in my bed, wearing sweats and Sudocrem as staple fashion items and not dealing with life very well.

The last time I checked in I was feeling on top of the world, high on life, untouchable – you get the picture. With time off work, a city break in Barcelona, celebrating our engagement and feeling inspired with blog content, I was ready to hit the ground running after a mini-break.

But when faced with the task of planning an entire wedding, working full-time, blogging consistently, having a social life all whilst keeping the house tidy like I’d planned the bubble soon burst.

It’s been three days since you posted on Instagram, what’s going on? It’s been another day and you’ve done no blog work, why do you keep putting it off? Did you really need that second (ok third) serving of cake? Why am I not feeling happy? I should be happy, life’s great! These are all the interrogating questions I berated myself with which eventually lead me to my guilt-ridden slump.

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guilty

guilty

Every task I set myself seemed mammoth. The thought of posting on Instagram made me feel a bit shit. Twitter made me feel uncool for not having a witty 40-character tweet to share. My unpacked suitcase from two weeks ago made me feel lazy. My growing pile of washing made me feel like a slob. And my un-kept brows made me feel somewhat feral. So, instead of tackling my to do list I spent my days avoiding emails, phone-calls and events to watch Girl Boss on Netflix (for the 3rd time) claiming “I’m just really busy” to anyone who called me out.

I started to feel really frustrated with myself. Why can’t I just feel like the shiniest, best version of myself already because this funk is not the one. Then I came across a post that Hannah Gale published a couple weeks ago. It was like she had live-blogged from my mind and clearly there must be something in the water…

In a nutshell I need to stop feeling guilty and punishing myself for not getting all the things I want done immediately. To stop feeling guilty for not “achieving” everyday.  It’s OK to give yourself time out. It’s OK to just do nothing and give your brain a rest.

I need to go slowly while I adjust to all the changes in my life right now and I need to accept that sometimes I don’t have my Beyonce pants on and I need few days off to not think about anything serious. And that’s OK.

I’m always trying to be the best version of myself and have high expectations. But it’s not always realistic. It’s important to take a break from the world when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Taking time out when it all got too much was the best thing I could of done for myself so why on earth should I feel guilty for that?


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PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSHUA BRATHWAITE

  • SewRuthie

    Hugs sweetie and don’t beat yourself up. X Ruth C

  • Ugh, firstly…. how awesome do you look!? That kimono. Secondly, you totally deserve a break! I think I stopped blogging for about 3 months before our wedding because it all got too much. I blog because it’s fun and that’s it…When it’s not fun, it’s just not worth it! When writing feels like homework, you know something’s up.

    T x

    • Omg agree with ALL of this, that feeling of blogging becoming a chore was horrible! Plus wedding planning is just really overwhelming and scary (at first) but I’m finding my wedding/blogging groove now. Thanks so much for reading lovely and for the NICEST comments that made me do a goofy smile xxxxx

  • I felt exactly the same a couple of weeks ago and I really felt guilty for not posting anything on social media and bit jealous of bloggers that seem to be always at the top of things. But oh well, a break it’s always needed to come back better than before and girl, I’m gonna pin all these pictures!! I love this outfit!! I saw this kimono in the shop and I was like “wow beautiful but I wouldn’t know how to style it”. You nailed it <3

    Caterina | caterinasosso.com

    • This was exactly me, once I start fixating on what everyone else is doing, that’s when I go into myself. Lesson learned! It’s OK to take a break and it’s OK to not feel bad about it. Thank you for reading and always reading the loveliest comments, you my gal! xxxx

  • Sophie Boyce

    This is why you are 1 of my BFFs ?

  • Ahh great post! Glad you’ve got your Beyonce pants back on. ???

    • Haha I knew they would at some point, really need to learn to stop forcing it! I just want to blog because I want to not because I have to. Also I really needed to take a step back and take everything in before my head exploded lol Thanks for the amazing tips girl, very much appreciated xxx

  • I can totally relate to this, have been feeling the same recently and think it’s so important to give ourselves a break when we need it! This will pass <3 Also I LOVE that you have watched Girlboss 3 times! I watched it in a day and I was contemplating whether to watch it again, now deffo don't feel alone watching it more than once haha xxx p.s you look babe-in' in this outfit

    http://www.laurenrosestyle.com

    • I have NOT stopped watching Girl Boss haha maybe because I’m watching a girl who knows her path so clearly and is just going for it? lol It definitely helped me out of my slump! We all deserve a break, and we deserve not to feel guilty for not keeping up/doing as much as everyone else xxx

  • Robyn

    Wow I feel like youve I’ve read my mind! I just wrote a post like this last night too. I’m still feeling insanely guilty and overwhelmed though. Really need to snap out of it!!
    Love the kimono! I really want one – seems like Zara are killing it! xx

    • I read your post and I swear I fist pumped and said ‘YAAAAAAS’ a few times because you honestly wrote exactly how I feel! It’s that keeping up with what everyone else it doing and even going beyond that, it’s too much and I can’t lol I need to stay in my own lane that’s for sure. Thank you for being such a babe and leaving a comment, it’s nice to not I’m not the only one feeling this way xxx

  • Live blogging from my mind is the best damn thing I’ve read today haha – I always can relate to everything you say! I’m prettyyyy sure you’ve blogged from my mind with this post (and many others)… As I said the other day you are slaying life and I have so much love for you right now. You are planning a wedding, managing a blog and working full time all in one go and smashing it. You are doing such an amazing job and I totally agree that it is sooo good to just take some time to chill for yourself. Happiness always comes first! <3

    Tash | natashatodd.co.uk