Pinch, punch, 1st day of the month! Apologies if I’m like the 112th person to say that today. I’m welcoming February with open arms and happy to see the derriere of January. January has brought motivating moments and new beginnings for many, but for me it’s been a slight emotional roller coaster. So I’m getting ready to burst that lil perfectionist bubble I have created for myself.
After setting my New Year resolutions I overwhelmed myself trying to action every goal in a short space of time. I understand that this is not ideal for me or for anyone. I’ve also been putting too much pressure on myself to blog WAY more. This led to the rapid downfall of my inspiration, motivation and a serious lack of sleep from overthinking.
It’s really easy to be obsessed with a number on social media; how many followers you have, how many likes on a picture and who’s interacting with who (FOMO maybe?).
I was so determined to pull interest to my page and be noticed that I found it all a bit draining and non- genuine. Instead of getting involved with conversations and engaging with people I only focused on increasing a number. I also downloaded an app where I’m able to see who and how many followers I’ve gained and who I’ve lost. This can be helpful for some bloggers as it can help you work out if you’re posting too much or not enough. For me, it was torture. It’s like a seed that was planted in me that led me to think; if people unfollow, this must mean they don’t like me. Stupid right? But true story. So imagine my thoughts when I noticed that it was some of my friends who were unfollowing me. That app had to go.
I’m learning that comparison truly is the thief of joy. To be put off writing, something I really enjoy doing has been getting me down. Bloggers that I look up to have been blogging for years and I’ve been doing it for under a year (inconsistently may I add). So why did I expect to have everything on track and a strong amount of followers in just one month? I guess that’s a perfectionist for you, wanting to give my all but being impatience and wanting instant results. I end up giving myself anxiety because I’m over analyzing. It’s just not healthy or realistic.
For my February goals I vow to be a lot kinder to myself. I want to stop concentrating on what everyone else is doing and how they’re doing it. And in general have a much less negative opinion of myself. We’re all unique and I want to really start embracing that. I want to spend less time stressing about trivial things and take time to relax. I think this was basically a really round about way of saying ‘YOLO’ but oh well.
Secondly I would like to be more open about my feelings. Wearing my heart on my sleeve isn’t something that comes naturally to me. It’s a lot easier to say nothing and keep quiet rather than express myself. But I’m learning that it’s not helping me and it’s not helping the people around me. I hope my vulnerability can help me gain more strength and understanding of myself in the long run.
Thirdly, to stop caring so much about what people think of me. I want to do what makes me happy and that’s my primary goal. End of.
Have you kept up your resolutions?
photo cred: Charlotte Audrey Owen-Meehan